Two Months

These last two months as a mom have been absolutely amazing. I'm not saying that they've been easy, but I truly love being a mom and I love my little boy and that makes all the hard stuff worth it :). I can't believe how much Connor has grown in these two months! He's now 12 lbs and 23.5 inches.

Two Months Old!
(Taken after we got back from shots)

We had our first shots today and it was not fun (but at least mommy didn't cry!). He did run a low fever this evening and his legs were really sore (as in screaming if they were even slightly touched) so I gave him some acetaminophen... my poor baby :(.  Other than that, he looks healthy and may just have silent reflux. The pediatrician wants us to try zantac for it to see if it will help. I'm hoping acupressure and maybe the baby chiro will help and we won't need it. I don't like the idea of giving him something like that with him being so young, but at the same time, I don't want him hurting either. So we'll see how it goes. As for Connor's eczema...right now I'm still trying to find a good combo of wash & lotion that doesn't cause a flare up. Yes to Baby Carrots wash is good, but the lotion has fragrance... not good. BabyGanics wash seemed to dry him out too much and the lotion I didn't try because it had fragrance in it. They do have an eczema cream though that we tried once and may try again... not sure if it was good or not. Aquaphor was recommended by the ped... but that didn't go well either. So I picked up some California Baby Super Sensitive wash & lotion and we've only used it once but hoping this combo will work!

Before Shots :)

After Shots :(

During this past month, Connor and I have had time just the two of us and we're finally getting into a better routine at home. He will let me put him down for short periods of time in his swing so that I can make something to eat, feed the dogs, etc. I usually can't get enough time to do anything major, even if he falls asleep in the swing or crib because it doesn't last long enough. But I did get to vacuum while he was in the swing the other day. And I can always wear him in a carrier to get a few things done, there are just some things I can't do, like wash dishes, cook, clean, or take out the garbage. Surprisingly, I've actually been able to keep the house relatively straightened, the dishes get washed (when he's in his swing), laundry gets done, and it doesn't look like a disaster in the house. I think I may need to hire someone to do the scrubbing in my kitchen and bathrooms though as I haven't found time for that yet. I suppose eventually I could try to do everything piece by piece instead of all of it at once. But for now I think it will be easier to have someone else come do it, lol. As far as nighttime and sleeping.... I'm getting plenty of sleep. That's the beautiful thing about our sleeping arrangement... he's in my room, in his cosleeper right next to my bed, so when he wakes up, I just take him out of his cosleeper, nurse him, put him back and go back to sleep... and sometimes do a quick diaper change. He has had a couple of nights this week where he actually does one 4+ hour sleep stretch, which is so nice. Then he usually goes to 2-3 hour stretches until we get up. I have to say though... since we don't get up until at least 7:30, I can't imagine having to get up early for work. Right now, it's working for us, I don't feel the need for a nap during the day, and feel rested. He's only two months old, and breastfed, so I do not expect him to be sleeping through the night any time soon, and that's ok. Oh, and we also finally made it back to church this past Sunday. We only got to sit in the pew until the responsorial psalm (about 15 minutes) and he started to fuss so I took him straight back to the vestibule (entrance area) where you can still see and hear mass and there are chairs for parents of small children to go if needed (our cry room is used as the confessional area). I had stationed his stroller back there so I put his carseat back in the stroller and rocked him back and forth the rest of mass and he went back to sleep and I got to stay the whole time :). Didn't make it to communion, though, since I didn't have anyone to stay with Connor while I went up. Not sure if we'll make it every Sunday, but I'm definitely going to try to go more now.

Play Date with Aedan 2-25
(Not wanting their pictures taken)

Playdate with Madison 3-7

First time actually sitting  in the water... not sure at first, but still loves his bath.

Ken was home for one more weekend before he deployed and is now out to sea. It was so nice when he was home... he always takes care of everything for me, helps calm Connor when he's fussy, and Connor loves to snuggle with him. We really miss him but we're glad that communication is much better on a surface ship (emails are almost instant and can email pictures, and we can get phone calls too!). What makes me most nervous about him being surface though is that they are out in the open and will likely be near where stuff is going on (only upside to that is tax free pay when they are in a hazard zone). I pray every day that he stays safe. Oh, we also found out today that he passed his chief exam and made board! Now we wait until summer to see if they choose him for promotion to chief! So exciting!

Connor & Daddy wearing their shades!

Update on the fussiness and gas: I haven't had any dairy for the last 2 weeks now and it seems to be helping! Connor is not as fussy when passing gas and doesn't have "stuff" coming out with his gas like before. I also discovered he is at least sensitive to peanuts right now as I had a cereal bar with peanut butter in it and it made him feel pretty awful... so no peanut butter for me either, boo. The colic calm helps better than anything else we've previously tried and I haven't even given him a full dose yet and only give it to him when he's really fussy so it hasn't been much. I also have been keeping the tv off except for when I watch my DVR'd shows, so it's not on all day and I think that has helped keep the overstimulation down. That and I've started playing some soft lullabies that I downloaded from iTunes. He still fusses sometimes, but not as much so we'll see what happens with the Rx and acupressure. When he doesn't have a gas bubble, he's a pretty happy and curious baby :).

Diaper Duty

Ever since I knew I was going to stay home, I knew I wanted to use mainly cloth diapers. It would save us tons of money in the long run. I spent lots of time researching, found some I wanted to use, and also determined I wanted to use gDiapers to start and as our travel choice, and have a natural type disposable as back up. Here is my experience with each so far... 

Disposable Diapers

The hospital diapers were Pampers. I never knew disposables had stripes now that tell you if they're wet... very nice feature for new parents! What they don't tell you is that you need to make sure the flare around the legs doesn't get tucked in or you'll have leaks... I didn't have this pointed out to me until we saw the pediatrician two days after leaving the hospital. The umbilical cord cut-out in the newborn size is nice too. Well, it seemed that we still were getting leaks with the Pampers, ad not out the legs but out the top part, so I tried a Huggies sample I had and no leaks. It seemed that Huggies just fit him better. I also liked that Huggies has a pure and natural line that are made with organic cotton and are hypoallergenic, so I ordered some of these from Amazon.com and we used them solely until the umbilical cord fell off and then continued to mainly use them until Connor was big enough for the small gDiapers. As long as the waist was secured tight enough, we have had no leaks or blowouts with the Huggies (knock on wood!

). We have come close to a blowout a few times, but the little pocket flap in the back has saved us so far. Before Connor was born I had also bought some Seventh Generation diapers since they are chlorine free, and free of other chemicals that can irritate the skin. They absorb well but don't fit quite as good as the Huggies on Connor. I can't really give a good review of these yet though as they don't have the newborn cutout so we didn't use very many. I still have two unopened Size 1's that w have yet to try. They also don't have the blowout catcher pocket so I'm hesitant on when to use them. We've also tried another brand that was what made up my diaper cake from my shower, but I don't know what they are... they have blue spots all over them. These are still a bit big on Connor and don't have the blowout pocket, so I use these sparingly as I don't want to waste them, and they were given to us by a very special lady who is no longer with us. 

Diaper Cake from Mary Ann

Our current use for disposables is mainly as back-up when out and about or at night if the gDiaper gets messy, or if the cloth and gDiapers are all in the wash.

gDiapers (w/ disposable insert)

Let me first say that we are using the disposable inserts with the gDiapers, not the cloth inserts (they didn't seem to have good reviews). My original plan for gDiapers was to use them of the first 2 months instead of disposables, to give us enough time to adjust and make sure I was ready for the extra laundry before switching to cloth. I bought a set of tiny g's (that even had snaps to make the front lower for the umbilical cord), a bunch of size smalls, and several packs of the disposable inserts to get us through the first two months. This of course is not exactly how it happened. Even with the snap down front, I felt more comfortable with using the disposables until the umbilical cord fell off. I then attempted to use the tiny g's and really liked them until I realized the insert was bunching in the front and causing Connor to be uncomfortable (though they would probably be fine for a girl). I think this was because the tiny g's used the same inserts as the smalls. So back to disposables until Connor fit into the smalls. Once he fit into the small g's, we started using these mostly and loved them. The only leakage I get from them is sometimes at night if he goes too long without a diaper change. The nice thing about it is that even then, the outside cloth cover soaks up most of it so that his clothes just get a little wet instead of soaking. And thus far (knock on wood)... no blowouts in these either. The liners sometimes get messy with poops so I bought a couple packs of extra liners so I can change those out and keep using the cloth cover a bit longer when it's still clean (and the box of liners is $20 for 6, so not bad). Overall, I'm very happy with the gDiapers. I also like that they are biodegradable, compostable (if there's no poop on them), and flushable, making them better for the environment. And being free of chemicals & plastics make them better for Connor too. 

gDiaper

Our current use of the gDiapers is for when we leave the house and at night (explanation to follow).

Cloth Diapers

The cloth diapering system I decided to go with is Bambino Mio. It's a pre-fold and cover system (big in the UK), and so far I like it. I was going to wait until Connor was two months to start them, but I felt ready to give it a go around 6 weeks. When I first started, I was using the liners that go with the system to catch the poop but since Connor's poop is so liquidy, it juts ran over the sides and messed the cover. Luckily, it didn't leak, but one came close. So after I realized this (after the 2nd try), I removed the liners and everything went so much better after that! They soak everything up and we have not had even one leak with them so far, knock on wood! I like that I can fold the pre-folds in such a way to put more absorbency up front where little man does the soaking :). Unless we have a big poopy, I can reuse the covers several times before retiring them to the diaper pail. The first time I washed them, I decided to give them a 2nd wash and it helped get the stains out better from the poops (and since I can adjust the water amount used in a laundry cycle on my washing machine, it equals out to washing one large load so I don't feel like I'm wasting water or anything). Some still have light stains, but it's not a big deal to me. I don't know if it'd be better to change detergent, as we're using the Publix Free & Clear since it was on a list of detergents that you can use with cloth diapers and is inexpensive and easy for me to get. I add to that the Miofresh antibacterial diaper cleanser that gives that extra cleaning boost to the wash and is gentle on the diapers and the environment. I just found that they make laundry powder too that we can now get in the US so I may try that next and maybe it will wash them better. I love the pail that goes with the system too... you can get the laundry bags that affix on the inside and then when it's time to wash, you just put the whole bag in the wash without having to touch all the dirty diapers again. Not much else to say, they're pretty easy :).

Bambino Mio

Our current use of the cloth diapers is during the day while we're at home. It's just less bulk to use the gDiapers when we leave the house. And since I don't have a diaper pail in my bathroom and the nursery is on the other side of the house, we'll use the gDiapers at night until Connor starts sleeping in his room... but right now, he sleeps in my room.

And on another note about diaper duty... Connor hated all diaper changes for several weeks and would scream through them every time. Thankfully he has gotten much better and only does this occasionally, like when he's really hungry and would rather be eating. Ken is actually really good at diaper changes and did most of them while he was home, especially the middle of the night ones. And lastly, I'm so thankful breastfed babies' poop doesn't stink :).

On Crying, Fussiness, and Gas

So my poor baby is super gassy.... so much so that he sometimes screams and cries while passing gas :(. He also tends to be incredibly fussy in the evenings, usually from about 6-7:30 is the worst. And I'll admit, I joined Connor in crying a couple times. So I've been trying various things to try and help the gas/fussiness.

Here's what I've learned so far about Connor's gassiness:

• I think part of his gassiness issue is due to the way he eats, or rather guzzles, and such in a lot of air. I try to burp him as often as possible while nursing, but sometimes it seems like he holds them in. I bounce, pat, walk, etc to try to get them out, but I don't know if I get them all.

• A day of just mylicon type gas drops with most feedings only temporarily helped the gas but seemed to hold him back from pooping as usual and didn't do much for the fussiness. 

• Little Tummys Gripe Water seemed to help more than the gas drops and I found that giving it in the morning, early afternoon, and sometimes before bed seemed to be the best schedule and occasionally helped with evening fussiness. I wasn't thrilled about a couple ingredients in it though, so I wanted to find something else.

• I found a better version of gripe water at Whole Foods made with organic ingredients and also contained chamomile, which the other one didn't. I only just gave him some this afternoon so I can't say yet how this one may differ, but he hasn't been quite as fussy or gassy this evening like he usually is.

• Then, yesterday I spent the afternoon with a friend from my Bradley class and her daughter (4 days older than Connor) has the same issue and her pediatrician told her to try Colic Calm and it was a dream for them. It's a homeopathic gripe water that's black and works quickly. Connor was a little fussy towards the end of our visit so we tried giving him some and he soon was a happy smiling baby again! He was still a little fussy in the evening last night but not as bad as usual and not seemingly from gas. When bath time (7:30) rolled around, he actually wasn't fussy and crying like he usually is, which is why I typically can't go past 7:30 without getting him a bath. I was going to pick some up on the way home yesterday but Connor was fussy so I went today to get some but will start it tomorrow since I tried the other gripe water today and don't want to mix. So far the only drawback I see is that there are black specks in his poo from it and it may stain his cloth diapers, but it will be worth it if it makes him happier. 
• I've also considered if my diet may be contributing to his gassiness and have been eating as plain a diet as I can for at least the early months, and avoiding beans (which I couldn't handle while pregnant either) and veggies from the broccoli/cabbage family (which I love). I even cut out trail mix and have been watching my nut/dried fruit intake since I discovered a connection with my eating half a bag of trail mix and then Connor being really gassy later. I'm hoping I can phase them back in slowly soon, but for now I'm keeping them to a minimum if at all just in case. I've even cut out peanut butter for now too :(. Oh how I miss it! I had thought about cutting out dairy too and finally started that after talking to another friend who's son is 2 months older than Connor and was also screaming while passing gas until she cut out dairy. So I've been dairy free for almost a week and hopefully we'll start to see improvements in another week or so. I gave up dairy for a while when we were trying to get pregnant so I knew it would be hard but at least I know hat alternatives I like. The part that really sucks is that half of my freezer stash of meals contains dairy and I have 3 organic cream cheeses, 3 other blocks of cheese and cheese sticks in my fridge I need to find homes for. I can't stand to throw perfectly good food away... it pains me that I have to throw away an $11 pound of fresh mozzarella that I couldn't eat and is now no longer good :(. I'm hoping to find someone to take my freezer meals too. That was a lot of work to make those and I just can't throw it away. 

• We've also tried light tummy massages and working his legs to help him pass the gas, but it still hurts him sometimes so this isn't a permanent solution.

Daddy working the gas out

This hold helps calm him sometimes too

Anyways... here's hoping something works soon for my poor gassy baby. I hate to see him in pain :(.

As for the evening fussiness... I'm not sure it's all because of the gas. I think sometimes it's from over stimulation during the day since it often helps to sit in a quiet dark room. I'm trying to limit the amount of time the tv is on during the day, even during naps when he sleeps on me, and keeping the volume way down. This evening it also seemed to help to keep the kitchen light off so it was dark and he could fall asleep easier and was a little calmer. I also notice that if he doesn't nap well during the day, he's really fussy in the evening. He seems to do best when he gets 4 naps of at least 45 minutes. Anything less than 45 minutes doesn't help. This is one of the reasons I still let him nap on my chest/in my arms. I'd rather he be happier and get his naps in, then to try to get him to nap somewhere else. I have been trying to aim to get him to nap once a day in his crib, but I usually won't put him in there until he's been asleep for 45 minutes in case he wakes up... I'm not ruining a nap just to get him in the crib. I also find it sometimes helps to stand and sway while nursing him when he's fussy and hungry. It's all trial and error, but isn't that parenting in general? Hopefully some of my recent adjustments will help and I'll reevaluate when he's three months and more adjusted to life outside of mommy :).

So until we figure this out, I think I'll be posting an ad on Facebook for an evening volunteer to come help for an hour hold a fussy baby so I can make sure the dogs get fed, I have eaten, and get things ready for bed. After all, I've had so many people offer their help if I need it and I think I'm ready to start cashing in now that Ken is gone!

6 Week Update

Well I had my 6 week postpartum checkup on Monday and everything has healed and I'm good to return to normal activity :). Connor tagged along to my appointment and of course didn't sleep and did not want to stay in his car seat so he got passed around by the nurses, who fought over who got to hold him, lol. Already a ladies' man! Here's a pic of the outfit he wore... what girl could resist?

Connor in his Calvin Klein outfit

Then on Tuesday, I had my follow-up with the neurologist. Connor came along and had everyone gushing over him again, but at least he slept this time :). So even though my vision is back to normal, I will still be getting the MRI with contrast to check on the abnormality on my first MRI. Right now I'm just waiting on the MRI place to call back and set up my appointment. I was hoping for tomorrow but at this point it's not looking like that will happen. I guess it will just give me more time to add to my stash of milk in the freezer since I will have to bottle-feed Connor and pump and dump for 24 hours. I'm nervous that he won't take a bottle from me though, plus he nurses himself to sleep. This is why I hoped for tomorrow since Ken will be home for the weekend. Maybe it will work out better this way since I'm also worried my stash isn't enough right now for 24 hours. Guess we'll see! Tuesday afternoon I took Connor to the pediatrician to check out a rash I found overnight. Luckily it's nothing serious and looks like baby eczema. We were sent home with samples of aquaphor baby wash and lotion and a Rx for a hydrocortisone cream to help clear it up. The good thing is that it's already much better :).

And speaking of this weekend... Ken is on his way home for a few days! This will be his last time home before deployment so we will make the most of it!

Connor's Birth Announcement

Sweet Dotted Boy Birth Announcement

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One Month

Could a month really have gone by already? My beautiful baby boy is one month old today! It has been quite a busy month and I absolutely love being a mommy. It's not easy, but it's the best job in the world :).

Connor is quite the popular baby and has had lots of visitors once home and even received extra gifts from family and friends. His visitors so far include Grandpa Stoicoiu, Grandma Hall, Aunt Mindy, Aunt Becky & Uncle Jim (who Connor got his middle name from), Uncle Bob, Bobbi, Jessi, Emily, Jeannine & Kenny, Patrice & the Braders.

One of the best things that happened this month was when Ken got to come home. We thought he wouldn't be home until around the 10th but his ship pulled into port down by us and he was able to start his leave when they pulled in and we got to go pick him up on January 31st instead! And he doesn't have to go back until the 23rd so we got a lot of time with him and we're so happy to have him home with us. He'll be going on deployment for a while so we're getting all our time in while we can. It has been so amazing to spend this time together as a family. It's going to be hard when he leaves!

Some things we've learned about our son this month... he's a slow eater (like his daddy), loves bath time, smiles and laughs in his sleep, likes to snuggle and sleeps best in our arms or on mommy's chest, and hates diaper changes most of the time. He's a very wiggly baby and gets gassy so we've started using gripe water which seems to help. It does't help that he gulps at the beginning of his nursing sessions and takes in quite a bit of air.

Breastfeeding has been going well, and though it takes up quite a lot of my time, I'm really happy with it :).  We haven't started cloth diapers yet since Connor is such a little peanut, but we did switch to the gdiapers today. Plus, I'm hoping to start getting a routine together before I add extra laundry in the mix.

Ok, so today was Connor's one month check up and he is growing well and is now 9 lbs 8 oz and 21.75 in long (both 50th percentile). He's definitely getting enough to eat which makes me feel better and more confident about breastfeeding. I was so glad to not have to supplement. Now I just need to start pumping more and build up a stash for times I have to be away from him. Not that I can even fathom going anywhere without him right now.

And since I love to take pictures, this entry wouldn't be complete without some pics :).
(I think Connor is going to be a bit of a snot about getting his picture taken, like his daddy...but I trained him to be better so with time maybe Connor won't mind so much.)

First time meeting Daddy 1-31 

Sleepy Smiles

Happy Valentine's Day from a Future Mr. Right :)

My Two Valentines

One Month Old!

One Month Outfit

Birth Story

I finally finished it! It's a bit lengthy and detailed because I didn't want to loose any of the story for Connor.  It was a hard, but so worth it in the end. Happy reading :)

The Birth of Connor James Tank

            On Saturday, January 14^th, I felt tired and baby boy was awfully quiet all afternoon and into the evening, despite me trying to wake him up some. I thought, well, maybe he’s resting up to come on out soon, since I had dropped super low already, but figured it would still be a while until he would be here. Worried, of course, that he was being so quiet, I said that I just wanted him to be born healthy and it didn’t matter who delivered him (my OB was out of town and my midwife was not on call that weekend). I felt him a little just before bed and decided to go to bed early since I had been pretty tired that day, getting to bed about 9 pm. (Side note: I had also made my week busy to help time go by… groceries Sunday, shopping with Bobbi Monday, mani/pedi Tuesday, chiropractor and OB checkup Wednesday, acupuncture Thursday, and maybe hang with Jessi again Friday…. all of which I had to cancel.)

Well… I guess someone heard me because when I woke up to pee at 12:15 am Sunday, January 15^th, I slowly realized my water broke. At first I thought maybe I hadn’t emptied my bladder all the way but when I kept dripping, I new it had to be that my water broke. Crap. Now what do I do. In my Bradley classes, I learned you don’t need to go in right away just because your water breaks and everything was clear.. but I hadn’t felt him more for about 30 minutes after I woke up (while I was trying to decide whether or not to call and if I should call Bobbi yet) and it made me nervous…. so I called Bobbi to give her the heads up that my water broke and we decided to go ahead and call to let the OB on call know that my water broke. They said to go ahead and head to the hospital. Part of me thought it was too early, but I still hadn’t felt little man move and wanted to know he was ok so I figured I would not rush, but get ready and just go. I updated Bobbi and then hopped in the shower. I finished packing my stuff and Bobbi came to get me. We loaded everything up in my car and headed to the hospital. Of course at this point, I finally felt him moving but the hospital was expecting us so we just went.

We checked in at the hospital, gave the nurses my birth plan and basket of goodies, and settled in to our room. My first nurse, Erica, was super nice and she hooked me up to the monitors to see where things were. It was great to hear baby boy’s heartbeat and know that everything was checking out well. I was a loose 1 cm and 50% effaced and baby boy was at a -2 station… so I knew I needed to do a lot of walking to get things going since my water broke and they’d be watching the clock. So we walked the halls for quite a while and I did a lot of moving around and pelvic rocks on my ball. My contractions seemed to be getting stronger and closer together but still relatively easy to get through.

Then 7 AM came around and I got a new nurse, Shelly. She seemed nice but I was sad that Erica was leaving. I got news that the midwife on call for Sunday would be in shortly to see how things were going. With all the changes, I could feel my labor slow a bit while I adjusted to the changes. I was worried about the midwife coming in since I didn’t know anything about her. She arrived around 7:30 and came in to see me. She immediately said that I needed to start Pitocin since they want you to be in active labor within an hour of your water breaking and it had been 7 hours since mine had broken and I had been walking and everything the whole time. I questioned this since I was feeling contractions and she wasn’t going to check me before starting Pitocin either since the risk of infection is higher after your water breaks. I was not convinced so she reluctantly checked me… and everything was still the same… I had made no progress since getting to the hospital 5 hours before. So now I was faced with the decision to either accept the Pitocin and pray I could handle the pain or refuse it and risk them trying to make me get a c-section if he wasn’t here within 24 hours of my water breaking. An epidural was not an option for me due to my scoliosis, despite the anesthesiologist coming in to tell me he could do it, no problem. But could he guarantee it wouldn’t just take on one side or give me more back pain or a spinal headache for two weeks? No thank you. And I REALLY didn’t want IV meds since those can affect the baby.

I very reluctantly agreed to the Pitocin. The midwife said they would start me on the lowest dose and recheck every 30 minutes and up the dose if necessary. I just wanted to cry. This was not supposed to go this way… I wanted an unmedicated labor. I wanted to let my body do its thing, but so far it didn’t seem like it was doing enough and I felt like I didn’t have much choice. So the Pitocin was started around 8 AM. It didn’t take long to feel the contractions intensify, but I still managed to breath and relax through them. My mom called around this time to see how things were going, and this is when I broke down and cried as I told her that I had to get Pitocin. I know my mom really wished she could have been there with me and she stayed on the phone through a couple contractions but I was not wanting to talk much in between so we hung up. It was frustrating to be hooked up to the IV and monitors, but I was thankful they didn’t make me stay in bed, I was still allowed to move around somewhat within reach of all the cords. After the first 30 minutes, they came in to up my Pitocin to the next dose. My contractions continued to get stronger and closer together and after the next 30 minutes, my dose was upped again. This is when things started getting really bad. My contractions were now coming on top of each other and were incredibly painful, leaving me no rest time in between, and I was now feeling them in my back too… great. I tried positions that are supposed to help with back labor, like hand and knees, but nothing worked. Not long after they had made the second increase, they came back in to lower it back to the previous level since I apparently was contracting like every minute, gee thanks. I really think it could have been left at the initial low dose since all I needed was a little jump start to get things going more actively for them, but what do I know.

Anyways… from here on out, I can summarize by saying that Pitocin is the devil and I was in hell. My contractions only slightly eased up after they lowered the dose back down and I felt like I could barely make it through each one. I tried every position I could think of and managed to find one that worked a little at first and that was to lean on someone, and that someone ended up being my nurse, Shelly. Bless her for holding me while I was putting so much pressure on her during those contractions. I was determined not to get any pain meds but I was slowly losing that determination with each contraction. I was no longer able to breath through them well and sometimes caught myself holding my breath, and I was beyond being able to relax any part of my body during the contractions, though I tried to at least in between. At this point, I really wished Ken was there as he is always able to get me to breath right and I just really wanted him there. The contractions were back to one on top of the other again. I felt a lot of pressure at the bottom of my abdomen and it was like the contractions never fully went away, leaving me cramping in between. I finally came to the conclusion that my back pain may not have been true back labor but that my back was just tensing up in response to the intense contractions I was having. I didn’t know how much longer I could take the pain but I felt like I couldn’t get the words out of my mouth to say I couldn’t do it anymore. I eventually did get the words out that I couldn’t take it anymore, I had to have something to get me through. Had this been a normal labor, I would have realized I was in transition and it was almost over, but at the time, I didn’t know if it was just the Pitocin and how much longer this would go on. The nurse said they could give me Nubain… which I knew nothing about but had heard of it before. She said they wouldn’t want to give me anything strong like Demerol since it would affect the baby so I thought, well then maybe Nubain isn’t supposed to have too much affect on the baby and agreed to go ahead and get it. Well, of course I would have to be checked first and I hadn’t been checked since before the Pitocin started. The midwife came in to check me and I was now 8 cm, 100% effaced, and baby was at 0 station… I was in transition and it was too late for meds. I was thankful that it was too late for meds and prayed it wouldn’t be much longer because I still felt like I was being tortured. I don’t know how much longer it was, or what time it was at this point but I don’t think it was that much longer before I was checked again and ready to go. Thank you God!

So now it’s time to get pushing and I’m so drained from the awful contractions that I know I’m not going to be able to attempt the pushing positions I wanted to try and just laid on my back… the one position I absolutely didn’t want to be in to push. They started taking the bottom portion of the bed off and get the stirrups ready when I said no stirrups. I wanted the freedom still to be in whatever angle or whatever I could to try to make room for my sacrum to move and give the baby room to get out. I ended up laying kind of diagonally on the bed with my left leg back but still on the bed and my right leg up and back (held by Bobbi… Thank you!), and thankfully this gave me enough leverage to lift my bottom slightly off the bed which was my goal. The pushing began and I was told that I was a good pusher and he would be here in no time. The first several pushes weren’t too bad and I was able to hold my breath long enough to get good pushes. The later ones I ended up not holding my breath long enough on all of them and screaming at the end of them instead, which didn’t help get him out any faster. I concentrated as much as I could to hold in the screams and a few contractions later, his head was out and I was told he had lots of dark hair, just as I thought he would. The burning was so intense and after all the pain I’d been having, I probably didn’t let my body chill and stretch long enough and I just wanted him out to I gave another push and out he came. What a relief! My baby boy was finally here! (12:54 PM) As soon as I saw him, I knew Ken and I were right in our feeling on his name around Christmas… he was definitely a Connor James. I got to cut the umbilical cord and hold him on my chest. He was absolutely amazing and worth those 5 hours of Pitocin hell. At least the baby part of my birth plan went how I wanted.

Now for the craziest part of the day… before leaving for the hospital, I had sent an email to Ken (who was out to sea) letting him know that my water had broken and we were heading in to the hospital. Well apparently after he got that email, he went to check on his ship card, which he hadn’t received yet, and lo and behold, it had come in and now he could go buy phone cards to call me from the ship. He called at 1:03 PM… just minutes after Connor was born and Bobbi put him on speaker for me. He had no idea he had been born… it was just perfect timing! And I hadn’t said Connor’s name aloud yet to make it official so it was great to get to do that with Ken on the phone. It was so amazing how it all happened and we made a few nurses cry. I asked him to call me later as everything was still kind of crazy and it was hard to hear him well. Bobbi then called my mom to let her know Connor had been born. At this point, the midwife checked to see if I tore and I did in two spots but on the inside (probably because I didn’t wait long enough before pushing his shoulders out, oh well). She was going to start stitching me up so I told mom I’d call her back. I went ahead and let them weigh Connor and check his breathing since they were mildly concerned with the way he was breathing at first, while I got stitched up (um, ouch!). Connor weighed 7 lbs 5 oz and was 20.5 inches long and he checked out perfectly.

The nurses eventually left us alone and I got to hold Connor and make our first attempts at breastfeeding. At that point the only pain I had was from the stitches so when asked if I wanted anything, I just took a Motrin. I drank my coconut water and pineapple juice mix to make sure I replenished my electrolytes and what not (even though I was still hooked up to the IV, grr, until the bag was empty). After it had been I think almost 2 hours, I decided I should get up to pee. Bobbi was still with me but I felt fine, so I sat on the edge of the bed, still felt fine, and got up to use the bathroom unassisted. While I was in there, a nurse came in and said something about me getting up by myself to use the bathroom. I told her I was fine and did the side of the bed test before getting up and then she said she was just used to the mom’s who’ve had epidurals/pain meds. I eventually found out that the anesthesiologist had come by shortly after Connor was born to check on me and told the nurses that I was “as tough as nails.” Haha, maybe… or just as stubborn as a bull! I guess I must have impressed a lot of people that day having gone through getting Pitocin without any pain meds, one of the nurses said I was a warrior. Believe me, if I didn’t have scoliosis, I would have signed up for that epidural, but I’m glad it worked out the way it did for me to not get any pain meds.

In the end, everything was worth it to be holding my beautiful, healthy baby boy. We had some visitors while in the hospital… some of my wonderful neighbors stopped by to see us, as did a few friends. I am so grateful to Bobbi for being there with me through my labor and to Jessi for being there for me throughout the rest of my hospital stay. I don’t think we would have gotten off to such a great start breastfeeding if it weren’t for her. Not to mention, she saved the day when it was time to go home and my car wouldn’t start for Bobbi so she had to come get me. I am truly blessed with amazing friends. And now Ken and I have been blessed with the most amazing little boy… I can’t wait for Ken to meet him!

Day after the birth in the hospital... after mommy got a shower :)

He's Here!

Most of you probably already know, but it's been a busy week so I haven't had much time for the internet....

Connor James was born on Sunday, January 15th at 12:54 pm weighing 7lbs 5oz and 20.5 inches long. He's perfect and we're so in love!

Will be working on my birth story and hopefully get it up soon :).

38 Weeks

Another week down, 2ish more to go! My appointment today was uneventful. I saw the midwife in training. Everything seemed to be normal/on track, though I didn't get any actual numbers and I didn't ask. I assume if they don't tell me it's all good :). No internal exam so I don't know what kind of progress is going on down there with baby boy being so low and all... and although I'm curious, it's probably better I don't know so I can't get my hopes up. Plus my OB goes on vacation tomorrow for a week and I'm hoping baby will wait until he gets back to come, so we don't need an internal to accidentally get things going before then. I did find out I'm GBS negative... so no antibiotics needed during labor, woohoo!!! One less thing to worry about.

With Ken being gone now, I am trying to keep myself busy (thank you nesting!) and here's what I did last night and finished today... I sewed 2 baby blankets for the little man :). Don't get too excited when you see them... yes they are super cute, but no, I did not quilt them... I sewed 2 pieces of fabric together with blanket binding ;-). JoAnn Fabrics has awesome baby fabric, some of which is pre-quilted like the 2 I used for the front of the blankets. Super cute in way less time! And they are so soft!

So other than cleaning and doing some reorganizing.... I think my next project to attempt before the baby is here is to reteach myself how to knit and knit him a little hat :). Hopefully that turns out well!

37 weeks... Full Term!

37 weeks

Well Baby Boy is officially considered full term today! Ken is back in Norfolk but we really enjoyed our extra time together and him being home for the holidays. We've got the car seat installed, my hospital bag is packed (except for last minute stuff), childbirth classes are done, bought a couple nursing bras, groceries are stocked, deep freezer is loaded with meals for after baby arrives, baby laundry done and nursery organized and ready to go (even the swing has been moved to the living room), and the bassinet is set up next to our bed.... ready when you are Baby Boy!